The month of August is again upon us.  August has no socially redeeming features.  Absolutely none. It’s a dreadful time.

It’s so bad, in fact, that locals are driven to the brink of insanity by the heat and humidity.

However, there is a solution. It’s so simple that I’m surprised it has taken this long.

The solution is to call the Alabama legislature into special session and simply pass a law against August. The legislature, within its power, could just declare August to be illegal within state borders.

Nowhere is it written that we have to live by a 12-month calendar. Think of the advantages. We could go directly from July to the cooler month of September.

If our ancestors had done this years ago, we would have been spared a lot of grief. The first income tax law was passed in August.

Without August, there would be no IRS.

Need I say more?

There is only one group that would oppose outlawing August. It’s the beer brewers and distributors.   August is a big month for them. In fact, I’ve used Budweiser for more decades than I care to admit to help me endure the horrible month.

To blunt the beer brewers’ opposition to our proposal and to help smooth out seasonal beer sales, I’m tinkering with a recipe to replace the bourbon in Christmas eggnog with beer.  As soon as I have the recipe fine tuned, I’m going to turn it over to Anheuser-Busch absolutely free of charge.

Do this: Call your legislators. Urge them to quickly pass a law against August. Strike while the iron is hot.

#    #    #

Follow @WilliamBruce

To subscribe to these insane ramblings, please see the subscription feature at the top right of this page.